As I finished listening to one of my favorite seminars – Abraham-Hicks – this Mother Theresa quote came along… slightly different from the one by Mr. Keith.
Authors aside. This prompted me into pondering on what might have been the biggest shift to my well being: doing the best that I can regardless.
I make it NO secret that I am a perfeccionist in recovery. And as a good friend told me, the things we were, we might easily be again. So, I’m mindful about this.
I’m grateful for how my search for unatainable perfection pushed me further. It made me ambitious, focused, disciplined, perseverant.
On the other hand, it made me insecure, doubtful, anxious. Can I have all the good stuff without the bad? Taking step by step, I’d say yes!
As a lawyer, our actions affect people’s life directly. It’s a huge responsability. I’m not going to lie… for many years, my desire was to just give up and go do something else. Something easier. I’m glad I didn’t.
Not being a quitter may have exhausted me sometimes, but has also made me face myself in order to become better than I was. And a big part of it was stopping thinking about what others were thinking about me.
There’s a huge danger in measuring ourselves by the others or measure others by ourselves.
Much – if not all – of my negative emotions were all based on comparison! It’s like that Einstein quote:
Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.
The second part of it was giving my best. Always! Regardless if that was not enough or too much for anyone else. AND LOOK! This wasn’t exactly easy for me. I LOVE TO WIN! I also love to please people and be celebrated. I’m a little vain, if we’re calling it like it is!
Adjusting to people getting threated/intimated while also achieving the high expactations I had for myself was… a marathon!
So… I gave it all up.
Now, I’ll celebrate myself, before and despite anyone else. I will give my best – yes! – but not to the point of exhaustion and depletion. I won’t think I’m lazy if I need rest. I won’t think I’m antisocial if I’m just in need of personal alone time. It’s whatever I require.
And mostly… whether I’m not enough or too much for others… I’ll always fully be myself and do the best that I can. As a daughter, sister, student, lawyer, friend and whatever else.
Is that not enough for you? That’s ok. You’re free to go get what you require!
Is that too much for you? That’s ok. I’m free to be everything that I am.
Life is too precious and truly… it passes you by like you can’t imagine. But if we make the most out of each moment, if we’re at a point not too busy to look back, we’ll be happy and proud to know we have given the best we could. At every breath and every moment.
Paula Camila Pinto 