Galeria

Promises and Contracts

Growing up, I’ve came with the idea that we are all destined to meet the one. The idea of making promises to find one another lifetime after lifetime just sounded so romantic to me! Even if I don’t believe in reincarnation, that thought always made me melt and daydream about this great love that I would at some point meet.

Until last week, when it suddenly hit me: Who was I when I made that promise? Who were they? Does it still make sense to even hold on to that binding commitment that we have made to each other – allegedly – lifetimes ago?

For me, a promise into the future meant security. Certainty. It meant being safe and relaxing into the known. I was protected! And isn’t that exactly what we are looking for when we enter into contracts?

However, where once I saw safety, I now saw a limiting constriction.

Who are we when we are making those promises? What are we creating when we are placing upon ourselves binding obligations to another?

Contracts place us in so many situations: marriage, jobs, transactions. If we are constantly evolving and changing, how do we go about it without being limited by the promises of our past self?

How do we transcend into the future to make commitments that are equally contributive to all parties involved throughout all the times?

Is that even possible? I don’t know.

What I know is, I am being invited into looking at contracts and promises in a whole new light. To seek balance between freedom, space for mistakes and the possibility of simply changing my mind. The notion that I should only commit to that which will create greater. Not only for me, but for everyone. To create bonds that will propel us to soar and thrive. To commit under promises that will not be a bondage, a source of control, but a space of respect and honoring of what we can create together: as a couple, business partners or commercial allies.

In that way; maybe, just maybe… all the promises we make to one another will always lead us to a greater tomorrow.

Galeria

‘Study With Me’ Fever

I’m going to admit… I’M OBSESSED. After sitting down and making a very serious and to the minute schedule of my life so I can fit in 6h of daily study (for each hour of class I require around 3h to prepare and go through the material).

Since school is online, study groups last semester was a TOTAL FAIL. I tried my best but all the different time zones make it almost impossible to find good common study time. That’s when I found ‘Study with Me’ videos on YouTube.

I’ve also watched many study techniques that were super helpful and I’ve been trying them to see what works best for me. On my Brazilian Law School, I used to transcribe every class, use outlines and practice exercises.

However, my Masters of Law program is in the US has a total different way of going about it – not to mention a different legal system (common law x civil law). So… IT’S BEEN A JOURNEY.

Here are my favorite videos and I wish it will contribute to you as much as it did for me.

STUDY WITH ME VIDEOS

This was the first channel I ever stumbled upon while looking for Law Students. I love the vibes!
My current favorite. I don’t remember how I found James. He’s so authentic and inspirational! I love his discord server.
I mean… I LOVE THE VIEW!
BOSS VIBES!
I’m obsessed with this table!

STUDY TIPS

I loved this video. Specially because I’m also a fan of prepping one day earlier for class! Takes off the stress.
I LOVED his highlighting tips + notes tips. Changed how I did it!
I’ve been loving this to study the Rules and Codes!
Overall amazing tips with different techniques. First time I heard of Anki + Active Recall!
Practice is HUGE! It’s how I passed the Bar Exam in Brazil! Loved this.

Paraíso

“Você não precisa morrer para estar no Paraíso”.

Há alguns anos, eu fiz uma promessa a mim mesma. Não importa aonde eu estivesse, se fosse no inferno, estaria na Presença de Deus. Talvez tenha sido o primeiro momento em que eu entendi que não importa onde eu estivesse fisicamente, conquanto, minha mente ou consciência estivesse em paz. Foi um momento muito importante, pois passei a observar mais meus pensamentos, discernir o que realmente era meu e direcioná-los da maneira que pudesse. Foi também quando aprendi a estar comigo sempre, não importanto quão “feio” era um sentimento que eu estivesse tendo, eu podia abraçar e aceitar pelo que eu estivesse passando e esse é o primeiro passo para mudar qualquer coisa.

Embora não tenha chegado onde almejo, já não lido com ansiedade, falta de clareza. Aprendi que uma prece, uma oração, uma meditação muda MUITA coisa. Aprendi a cultivar minha alegria. Quer as pessoas ao meu redor o fizessem também ou não. Não preciso estar limitada às condições em que me encontro e posso sim, buscar mais pra mim.

The Change I be

Honestly, I think it’s so lame to talk about the “bad” things that happened to me. I was always the kind of person to not want to burden others with my problems. And then, I’ve realized I’m stealing people’s opportunity to get to know me.

Yes, I’m super happy and joyful. I can brighten anyone’s day. I am not always like that. Some people look at me and make all sorts of assumptions. How easy I have it. And I do! I’m not going to lie. That isn’t to say I haven’t gone through things in my life.

Sexual abuse, betrayal, depression, feeling lost, anxiousness, being ghosted by someone I was really in love with. I mean, it goes on.

For a while, all of that put me in a cage. I just wanted to be kept safe and secure from any pain. And you know what I’ve learned? It sucks!

Closing yourself of to the world… makes you miss out SO MUCH in life!

I don’t know if it is like this to everyone, but for me… it was really hard to not let that all change me for good. I was so scared of going out into the world again. I was afraid something or someone would steal my joy, so I became very protective of myself. “Ok, let’s go out. But trust NO ONE!”

It took me years to learn… some – most or all of the things that “people do to you” have very little to do with you. So, it’s not your fault. I’ve blamed the abuse I’ve suffered as a kid on myself FOR YEARS! I mean… really. A 7 yo seduced a grown man? In my head, yes!

I’ve learned that’s very little I can understand about people, but I can know myself. I can’t change others, but I can leave. I can’t demand anything from people, but I can take care of myself. I don’t have to depend on anyone. I can rely on myself and be grateful when I meet people who are willing to respect my boundaries.

I used to be so afraid of… surrendering. Feeling things as deeply as I feel them. Be intensity I truly be… because of my experiences in the world. However, if I conform to it, nothing will ever change. If am not who I am… who will be? Who else can take this part that I was casted by God with but me?

We are irreplaceable. People are irreplaceable. Maybe saying people are is a lie someone told because they were trying to protect their hearts – like I was – and then all the others who were also trying to protect their hearts – like I was – replicated this and tried to turn it into a truth.

But a lie will never be true. As many times as you repeat it.

There’s not another you in the world. And so, if you’re not standing up for yourself, and being who you truly be… then the world will never receive the gift you came to give it. We will never live in the world touched by you, because you didn’t allow yourself to be exposed to it. Isn’t that sad? A world where you aren’t?

Luckily, there’s always tomorrow. There’s always another day. And there is always a crazy one… a misfit… to tell you… whatever you are, whomever you be. You’re precious! Don’t let the world change you, instead… change it by being you. That’s the gift I’ll be asking for this Christmas.

The Best

As I finished listening to one of my favorite seminars – Abraham-Hicks – this Mother Theresa quote came along… slightly different from the one by Mr. Keith.

Authors aside. This prompted me into pondering on what might have been the biggest shift to my well being: doing the best that I can regardless.

I make it NO secret that I am a perfeccionist in recovery. And as a good friend told me, the things we were, we might easily be again. So, I’m mindful about this.

I’m grateful for how my search for unatainable perfection pushed me further. It made me ambitious, focused, disciplined, perseverant.

On the other hand, it made me insecure, doubtful, anxious. Can I have all the good stuff without the bad? Taking step by step, I’d say yes!

As a lawyer, our actions affect people’s life directly. It’s a huge responsability. I’m not going to lie… for many years, my desire was to just give up and go do something else. Something easier. I’m glad I didn’t.

Not being a quitter may have exhausted me sometimes, but has also made me face myself in order to become better than I was. And a big part of it was stopping thinking about what others were thinking about me.

There’s a huge danger in measuring ourselves by the others or measure others by ourselves.

Much – if not all – of my negative emotions were all based on comparison! It’s like that Einstein quote:

Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.

The second part of it was giving my best. Always! Regardless if that was not enough or too much for anyone else. AND LOOK! This wasn’t exactly easy for me. I LOVE TO WIN! I also love to please people and be celebrated. I’m a little vain, if we’re calling it like it is!

Adjusting to people getting threated/intimated while also achieving the high expactations I had for myself was… a marathon!

So… I gave it all up.

Now, I’ll celebrate myself, before and despite anyone else. I will give my best – yes! – but not to the point of exhaustion and depletion. I won’t think I’m lazy if I need rest. I won’t think I’m antisocial if I’m just in need of personal alone time. It’s whatever I require.

And mostly… whether I’m not enough or too much for others… I’ll always fully be myself and do the best that I can. As a daughter, sister, student, lawyer, friend and whatever else.

Is that not enough for you? That’s ok. You’re free to go get what you require!

Is that too much for you? That’s ok. I’m free to be everything that I am.

Life is too precious and truly… it passes you by like you can’t imagine. But if we make the most out of each moment, if we’re at a point not too busy to look back, we’ll be happy and proud to know we have given the best we could. At every breath and every moment.

The Land Of Possibilities

Ever since my first Access Consciousness class in 2016, I’ve always wanted to participate on the Creative Edge call – a monthly subscription with a leading edge conversation on consciousness.

Yesterday, I was on my first call and WOW! I can say it was a culmination that just opened up to SO MUCH MORE. What a gift it is to be aware of the Land of Possibilities, the land beyond time, this month’s theme.

When COVID started, I chose to participate int he 14-Days with Dr. Dain, then the 14 Billion Days Years with him. And from that, the Frack it! week that launched me into space.

I dived deep into seeking the tools to create whatever I perceived was possible and that took me to… Sarah Grandinetti and her ‘My First Date With The Future’ class.

THEN… I took control of the rocketship.

Everything is changing in a speed that has never been before and everything is becoming clear like NEVER before, really. And I’m so grateful for all the people I’ve met on this journey with Sarah. All the people that TRULY have my back, giving me the TOOLS and awareness so that I can choose whatever will create more in my world.

It’s a place from functioning I’ve never experienced before. It all started with a conversation about choosing. Then, moved into acknowledgment… and here, everything started to dynamically shift! YES, THAT IS THE POWER OF ACKNOWLEDGMENT. And I’ve realized how hard it is for me to acknowledge myself and my capacities and how much that limits my world.

I’ve always had big dreams. At one point, I honestly thought they were impossible. That turned all the lights off in my world. I’m happy I’ve learned how to turn them on again. And this time, I’m not doing it alone.

Choosing everyday… the land of possibilities and actualizing them with the ackonowledgment of everything that I am.

Special thanks to Sarah, Kathy, Yolanda, Marco, Cady, Vitória, Kate, Anna, Hope and all the PCC Crew. ADORE YOU! ❤

Me tornando Advogada nos EUA

Hoje tive minha primeira aula OFICIAL do meu Masters of Law na Loyola Law School. Confesso que a primeira semana de orientação acabou comigo.

Eu CHOREI de felicidade, ri, estava extremamente entusiasmada, fiquei assustada. Tive que tirar uma power nap entre uma aula e outra e CLARO, perdi uma orientação porque… né?

Estou MUITO, muito feliz… extremamente grata por tudo e por todos, mas especialmente, por mim mesma. Grata por nunca temer tomar passos, por mais que meus sonhos e alvos pareçam tão distantes ou difíceis. Eu SEI que nada é impossível.

Esse é um dos muitos passos que estou dando na criação do futuro que eu desejo pra mim, que EU sou capaz de perceber, é possível, é atingível. Sou extremamente sortuda por ter tantas pessoas ao meu redor que me celebram, que me encorajam e que, sim duvidam de mim, pra que eu possa olhar e dizer: “você não sabe o que eu sei!”.

Mesmo aqueles tentam nos desmotivar, nos fazer parar – COMO SE FOSSE POSSÍVEL NÉ? – são extremamente contributivos. Você reconhece isso? Eu desejo que sim. E desejo que você nunca deixe de tentar ou escolher algo por ter ouvido algum dia de alguém que você “sonha alto demais” porque…

Pessoas que são loucas o suficientes pra pensar que podem mudar o mundo são as que mudam.

Steve Jobs

De uma criadora de realidades que ainda não existem pra outro…. TAMO JUNTO!

Forte abraço.

Trust x Perfectionism

Sometimes, all it takes it’s a little bit of trust.

When I first started looking into Coaching, the first person I read/watched was Tony Robbins. You could register for one call with one of his Coaches and so, I did.

We were talking about so many things and I brought up being kinda of a perfectionist. Not a hardcore one. A chill perfectionist. And he asked me the complete the following sentence: “sometimes you win, sometimes…”

“You lose!”

I screamed to my Skype.

And then the said:

“No, you learn!”

That was a concept that stuck with me. However, at that time, I didn’t notice or valued it at all. I was like: “OK, LOSER!”.

It was such a foreigner concept to an overachiever such as myself.

What I know today is… by not being willing to “make a mistake” or “being wrong”, I was actually limiting myself so much. Not only I was not creating the life I wanted, my need to get it right every time took such a toll on me. I was constantly questioning myself, which gave me little self-esteem habits and huge amounts of anxiety. Which I know now is always a sympton of something that require change.

Even if my sense of “not being good enough” or “always being able to do better” was such gift, because it pushed me to be greater and greater. What I know now is that…

It can be easier!

With that knowledge, it’s easy to see how perfectionist is just a way of stopping ourselves. It’s a way of postponing, procrastinating or simply running from ourselves. And there’s this quote that comes to me often – that my friend read it on one of her amazing zoom meetings:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

Marianne Williamson

Not just in ourselves, but also in the Universe. The universe ALWAYS has our backs and it’s our lack of trust in ourselves that doesn’t allow it to show up fully. It’s like they say: you can only receive from others as much as you can receive from yourself.

Instead of looking outside for validation of always getting everything right or doing everything perfectly, what would it be like to have it as a bonus of knowing you are worthy no matter what?

How much more fun and easy would life be from the knowing that… you can never lose, because everything is information that you can use from that point forward to create more?

I love a quote from Abraham-Hicks:

That was then. This is now!

A reminder that you’re not bound to your past. Or, as Access Consciousness will teach: nothing really. Not even – or specially – your own points of view.

What would it look like to trust you fully? And to surrender yourself to life, without fears, allowing all of you to truly show up? How much is the universe waiting to gift you?

As Sarah Grandinetti shared this weekend on her Your First Date With The Future “non-class”, what it takes is not this huge target or huge change. It’s just the next step. Stepping out of the bubble.

So what would it take to have just a little more trust in ourselves today? Of releasing that project into the world? “Imperfect” as it is. It’s never done. It will never be…. and that’s the fun of it!

Gratidão

Frase com o tema do post.

Por muito tempo, eu usei um papel de parede com a frase: “a felicidade está a uma escolha“. É a ideia de que a felicidade está SEMPRE ao nosso alcance, não importa o que esteja acontecendo.

Houve uma época em que eu me sentia tão perdida que é até difícil lembrar de detalhes. Talvez eu mesma tenha bloqueado as memórias ou, como diz Abraham-Hicks, quando mudamos a frequência, aquilo que não mais combina com ela se torna inacessível pra nós.

Enfim, não obstante, me recordo perfeitamente de um dia, logo após a faculdade , durante meu período sabático. Estava muito feliz de estar em casa, mas triste pelo feliz do meu namoro – o único sério que já tive até hoje.

Meu pai entrou em meu quarto para me desejar bom dia antes de sair pra trabalhar e eu comecei a chorar quando ele me beijou a testa. Só conseguia dizer o quão infeliz estava me sentindo. Perdida, sem propósito. Insegura de ter meu primeiro emprego, tudo parecia impossível. E eu só chorava.

Chorei por um bom tempo. E depois, passou. É um dos momentos em que consigo perceber o quão longe estou daquela pessoa. Naquele momento, não tinha NENHUMA das ferramentas que tenho hoje. Tampouco sabia do “segredo” para felicidade: gratidão.

Se é verdade o que o Abraham-Hicks fala sobre Lei da Atração. É preciso praticar um pensamento por 17 segundos até que ele passe a atrair para si pensamentos de igual vibração.

É uma ideia bem interessante e não deixo de comparar com a “Espiral de Conflito” sobre a qual aprendi durante o curso de mediação da EJURR. Durante a mediação, temos que evitar que uma fagulha vire fogo ou que um desentendimento desencadeie em uma briga.

A ideia da lei da atração nada mais é do que essa noção, mas ao contrário. Podemos chamar de “Espiral da Gratidão”.

Ao apreciar e buscar motivos pelos quais somos gratos, treinamos nossa mente para buscar mais motivos pelos quais seremos gratos. Uma coisa puxa a outra.

Pode ser algo simples, como, por exemplo, quando vou lavar as mãos ou escovar os dentes. Me sinto extremamente privilegiada por poder simplesmente abrir a torneira e a água sair! Que luxo!

Ou mesmo algo mais difícil, como, por exemplo, toda minha família ter sido acometida pelo COVID, meu avô ter falecido e meu pai ter ficado em estado gravíssimo. O que há de bom nisso? O reconhecimento do carinho e dedicação dos amigos e familiares. Receber todo carinho, amor, apoio daqueles que nos acompanhavam à distância…

Perceber que sim, sou capaz de lidar com QUALQUER situação que a vida me traga – ou eu atraia, depende do seu ponto de vista.

No meio de todo turbilhão, eu me senti FELIZ! Grata pelos profissionais de saúde que nos atenderam, grata pelos amigos e familiares que nos ajudaram de todas as maneiras possíveis, grata pela minha capacidade de organizar um enorme volume de informações novas.

Grata pela oportunidade de desvelar novos talentos e novas capacidades, que até então, eu não só não sabia que tinha – julgava não tê-los!

Foi uma longa jornada e talvez este não seja “o segredo”, mas é uma ferramente importante para o meu dia-a-dia. Desde o mês de junho, eu nunca mais fui a mesma. Ainda é difícil falar sobre todas as maneiras como o COVID-19 transformou minha vida, mas sou GRATA por tudo o que ele me trouxe e pela oportunidade de me mostrar um pouco mais a mim mesma. E isso sim, me faz MUITO feliz!

Um forte abraço a todos!

[Prática Forense] Roteiro para Regidir Alegações Finais

Eu DETESTAVA Processo Civil na faculdade. Eu aprendo muito melhor conforme vou praticando e, por isso, me surpreendi ao perceber o quanto – na prática – eu adoro Processo Civil.

Escrever é uma de minhas atividades favoritas e fazer isso no processo é multidisciplinar: envolve estratégia, lógica, argumento e redação! Ah! A-DO-RO!

Ao redigir Alegações Finais o meu plano é o seguinte, independente por qual parte estou atuando:

  1. Reler peças inaugural e de defesa;
  2. Relatar o Processo, indicando as provas e os movimentos de cada documento;
  3. Responder:
    • Qual é o pedido?
    • Qual é a causa de pedir?
    • Que fatos e/ou provas suportam cada tese?
    • Qual é minha tese?
    • Qual é o meu argumento mais contundente?
  4. Pesquisa de Jurisprudência atualizada;
  5. Redação da Peça.

Cada ponto tem o seu propósito, mas antes de iniciar qualquer redação o elemento mais importante que preciso ter é clareza mental. Preciso saber exatamente de onde estou vindo e para onde estou indo para que minha peça seja clara e objetiva, do contrário, há grandes chances de me deter em pontos e narrativas que não são necessariamente relevantes para o Processo e o Julgador.

Pessoalmente, a redação de peças processuais é algo que adoro. É uma criatividade com objetivos o que é extremamente interessante, na minha opinião! Espero que se divirtam tanto quanto eu com suas peças e, claro, sucesso sempre!

Forte abraço aos colegas!